What do your kids do that drives you crazy? Do they whine, refuse to come with it's time to leave the playground, argue over who's turn it is to take out the trash? How do you handle these behaviors? Does this restore good feelings to everyone, or do you all feel worse afterward? The good news is we can influence whether we are more connected after a conflict. People are hardwired to see people as either threats or allies. When we try to control (through punishments, bribes, comparisons, false praise) our kids perceive us as a threat. They may go along with us to avoid the … [Read more...]