It was past SweetPea's bedtime, and I was fuming. I had a mile-long to-do list to tackle, but despite my best efforts, I just could not get her to go to sleep. She wasn't fussy, she wasn't defiant. She just wasn't ready to let her mama go for the night. I tried to calm myself. I tried being grateful. I thought about how I could rearrange my tasks to get the most pressing things done. None of it was making me feel better. And I'm sure SweetPea picked up on my frustration and anxiety, further making it difficult for her to sleep. As I lay there getting more angry and feeling guilty about … [Read more...]
How NOT To Teach Sharing
How many times have you been with a group of kids and seen one snatch a toy from another? Or had your kids shriek "She's not sharing!" What's the best way to respond? Maybe we snatch the toy away and give it back to the person who had it first. Or we try to pressure our kid into sharing. "Give the toy back to Molly or we will have to leave." "Look how nicely Milo is sharing." Maybe we even put the toy away so no one has it. Unfortunately, none of these actually teach kids how to share. Instead, forcibly taking toys from kids, shaming them into giving them to others, or otherwise … [Read more...]
How to Handle Parent Mistakes with Compassion
Last night I blew it. Big time. SweetPea was nursing, and she bit me. At 10 months old, she has 8 knifelike teeth in her little mouth. Though she rarely bites, it sometimes happens when she is a little overtired. Usually I handle it by giving her a teething toy. But tonight I was just too tired to get up and get one from the living room. (I don't know about you, but my worst parenting moments always happen when I'm tired or desperately trying to get something done.) So I offered her a blanket to chew on. That seemed to do the trick; she chewed it for a few minutes, then came back to … [Read more...]
3 Simple Ways to Help Kids Deal with Stress
People who experienced a lot of stress in the previous year had a 43 percent increased risk of dying. But that was only true for the people who also believed that stress is harmful for your health. People who experienced a lot of stress but did not view stress as harmful were no more likely to die. In fact, they had the lowest risk of dying of anyone in the study, including people who had relatively little stress. ~Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D. I've been mulling over this TED talk from Kelly McGonigal for days now. Everywhere I turn, it seems like someone is talking about how they need to reduce … [Read more...]